August 23, 2022

McLaren defeated and TOTALED in street race with Ninja 300

REDDIT thread featuring pic of PirateNews

The original fictional story was BANNED CENSORED DELETED by KawasakiNinja300.com, it was simply too UNBELIEVABLE! Perhaps McClaren bribed them to salvage their dignity and whats left of their posh reputation?

HELL ROADS of the world includes
The Dragon at Deals Gap

THE ROAD

MARYVILLE, TENNESSEE, USA -- The World Famous Dragon, US129 in Blount County, Tennessee. 636 curves, 36 cops, zero ambulances and 60 fatalities in every 22 mile lap. As seen on many a movie screen and TV show, including The Fugitive, Two Lane Blacktop and Thunder Road. Thousands of documentaries have been made, often involving crashes by their ambitious fimmakers.

The Dragon has a higher death rate per mile for bikers than the Isle of Mann TT. 60 for the Dragon in 20 years, 270 for the TT in 100+ years. The Dragon is the most deadly road in USA, mainly because of a total lack of ambulances with 4 hour crash recovery time, even with a $35,000 taxi ride by Lifestar helicopter, which often refuses service despite broken bones with deadly internal injuries bleeding out.

No ambulances for the bikers, only $1,000 tickets, or entire highway closed for the year. 100 sheriff vehicles were reportedly stolen in Blount County, sold for cash or chopped for parts in the backyard of the sheriff, who owns his own racetrack for police use only.

The TT had 9 deaths in 2005. The Dragon had 8 deaths in 2021.

The TT attracts the most skilled riders on Earth with the best safety gear. The Deals Gap Dragon Tourist Trap repels skilled riders and attracts rookies with no safety gear, mostly tourists who have never done a trackday nor race series. Many are drunk cruiser riders. Sportbike hooligans can get drunk too, with the broken bones and bikes to prove it.

The sheer # of curves is physically and mentally exhausting on the Dragon, quite the workout, leading to crashes from daydreaming and target fixation, with resultant failure to countersteer. Guilty as charged. The world record is 100 laps in 24 hours by truck driver Yellow Wolf on his Gold Wing. I can do one maybe two laps max, I've raced and driver tractor trailers too.

Sportscars often crash, taking out bikers, simply too many curves to memorize, most of them blind. Plenty of wildlife too, plus bicycles, horses and preachers carrying crosses.

THE RACE

Starting Line: Tail Of The Dragon store at Deals Gap, North Carolina at Mile Marker 0.

The Grid: 10 Fast and Furious rice rocket Miatas and one McLaren supercar, one preowned crotchrocket.

Finishing Line: Mike Marker 2 in Tennessee.

I watched the gang pull out of TOTD parking lot, McLaren in the lead, so of course I followed in last place. Passed a couple slow Miatas, chasing the white rabbit.

Approached a crash scene, frantic waving, didnt see a McLaren, hammer down. Got to the bottom of the mountain, no McLaren, no Miatas. Dang I won!

Ride back to the crash site. Yup, the McLaren was in a 1,000 foot deep ditch, saved from total annahilation by a tiny tree. Driver door ripped off, plastic frame cracked open, suspension torn off. I was going to buy a McLaren until I witnessed the extensive low speed carnage.

A street party commenced in the middle of nowhere, waiting for crash recovery. You'd think people had never seen a $300,000 McLaren totalled before.

Long ride home in the dark, but worth it. Returned later to retrieve souveneirs to mount as a trophy on my wall, and the Tree of Shame if course.

THE LOSER

$300,000 McLaren 600LT driven by a kid smokin pot who just got out of jail for speeding the day before. Sold for scrap on Mile Marker 2.

THE WINNER

$4,000 Kawasaki Ninja 300 box stock. Demonstrated by the lovely paralegal Mia. Always wash your tarmac, it was her first time. Check your air pressures, it may be ready to pop. Helps to lower them for a hot day on a firebreathing Dragon.