I ruined Guy Fieri's dinner

By Jack Ryan, Pirate News

Another trip to the Dragon, another great day of meet n greets with amazing people from all over the planet.

Looks I made it in another Max Wrist flying 360 Youtube feature, a mere flash in opposing traffic, without me crashing for once.

Bitches didnt stop, twice, lol. EIGHT DEATHS LAST YEAR on the Dragon WTF, 60 total, worse than racer deaths at Isle of Man TT. Internal injuries is what kills, it takes 4 hours for $30,000 Lifestar helicopter to arrive at ER but wont transport for broken bones with invisible internal injuries bleeding out even with prepaid membership. $500 satellite text alert is a lifesaving investment on the Dragon, but still a 4 hour delay, no cell coverage. 

Injured rider abandoned for 30 hours on Dragon, car drivers lost for months until body found, but its more dangerous at home in bed

BEST TO LOAD INTO THE FIRST VEHICLE TO UT MEDICAL CENTER IN KNOXVILLE DONT WAIT FOR POLICE NOR AMBULANCE, THP CAN DO CRASH REPORT AT ER if required. LOCAL DR WARNED THAT PAIN MEDS WILL KILL YOU IF YOU HAVE INTERNAL INJURIES RIDING ON THE DRAGON, REFUSE PAIN MEDS EVEN WITH MULTIPLE BROKEN BONES. LIFESTAR REFUSED FLIGHT FOR DRAGONSLAYER DESPITE MANY BROKEN BONES AND LOST HALF HIS BLOOD BY INTERNAL INJURIES WITH AMPUTATION OF ORGANS, TINY WORKS AT TAIL OF THE DRAGON AND PAID FOR LIFESTAR MEMBERSHIP. DID THIS RIDER SURVIVE? WERE ANY DRAGONSLAYERS BUTCHERED ALIVE FOR $5M ORGAN HARVEST?

I crashed last ride on the Dragon, rode up the mountain like a banked dirt racetrack, didnt fall, didnt stop, no damage except to my calm, cause of crash was DAYDREAMING ABOUT MAX WRIST, did I make his interview cut? No I didnt smh. 636 curves in every 22 mile lap is exhausting physically and mentally. I can do one lap when the world record is 100 laps in 24 hours by old man Yellow Wolf on a giant Gold Wing. 

Got banned on KawasakiNinja300.com for posting about my meetup with Max, cops dont like secrets revealed that the Dragon speed limit is 65 not 30 as I proved in court, or that I beat a $300,000 McLaren on my baby Ninja, as proven on the Tree of Shame. 

Ditched my fav schizophrenic GF this week, she tried to kill me a few times, she helped kill 4 BFs and her parents. Sweetest girl I ever met, thats just one of her alter personalities, Im getting trained and certified in trauma counseling just to be able to talk to her multiple personalities. As a deputy confessed the last time he handcuffed her in my home, "All women are crazy."

Other working titles:

• I dined with Guy Fieri, sort of
• Who is that hot chick with the rich dude that looks like Guy Fieri? 
• I caught Guy Fieri with his hot rich bitch mistress, or secret daughter, or hot bored Hollywood wifey
• That handsome rich Alpha guy looks too good and healthy to be Guy Fieri
• Guy Fieri almost died on the Dragon at Deals Gap (8 fatalities last year WTF)
• Guy Fieri beat his alcoholism before it killed him good for him
• Guy Fieri tried to save my life, by talking me out of riding in the rain on America's Most Dangerous Hell Road, because he was concerned for my safety while checking radar, or I looked too old and rickety to ride a bike

Arrived at Deals Gap MC Resort too late for chow, so rolled down to the antique vintage Tapoco Lodge. It was packed for riverside dining. Enjoyed the best BBQ sammich of my life. 

While dining beside a famous TV superstar, I soon figured out, after speaking to some fun tourists at the fire pit from Oklahoma City. 

I never watched his show, Im more mechanic than cook, my late wife was the restaurant GM in my family and she worked all the time, so they helped me recall a name then i googled, I do recall its a supercook stylish hotrod type show, about free food. Hence Guy leaving half his food on his plate, "big bellies equal death my daddy said," or some such excellent advice, my Crohns Disease, Ulcerative Colitis, clogged liver gall bladder and rhumatism kidney disease prove.

The last time I visited Tapoco Lodge was over 10 years ago, when Guy Fieri was broadcasting his TV show from the Lodge, with a Ferrari club on the Dragon, if I recall. He was so funny he got the entire crew laughing. A super professional, I told him, but he already knew of course. The guy oozed confidence and success. Or maybe it was another supercool TV superstar, I cant keep up, I can barely recall what I did yesterday. So many TV shows and Hollywood movies are filmed there.

I wore my FJB hat of course

I was attempting to produce a documentary on the Dragon years ago, but the competition and logistics kicked my ass, notwithstanding my collegiate award winning TV broadcasting degree, gave it away free on Youtube as shorts and music videos, part of my 100M views I never got paid for. 

I never got paid for my TV show, never got paid for my appearance on History Channel, never got paid for my awards in Hollywood, never got paid for my shoutout from SNL, never turned a net profit for my 8 years racing cars on TV in England in front of 100,000 cheering spectators against future Indy 500 winners, future Formula One World Champions and British royalty. 

How to date royal bitches

At least my fav GF got a tshirt from Joe Francis at Girls Gone Wild, she dont like i got cellulite on my ass from eating her ice cream. We cant all be Guy Fieri.

Thats when her schizophrenia MPD DID was starting

Today Guy was riding his Harley for fun, with the biker bitch wifey. They had both lost weight and looked great, super healthy wealthy and cool. He said his dr warned him to quit the booze, his wife told him to stop or die. So he wisely obeyed the boss' orders. I said me too, its not healthy, at all. Im jealous, wish my GF would stop drugs, it killed her 20 times, "blue and dead" an ER dr wrote.

What gas cost when I started driving, my govt job required bombing and butchering nations that dared sell gas at 6 cents a gallon, gas still costs 10 cents a gallon in Venuzuela, so FJB boycotts that cheap fuel

DOT repainted the lines on the Dragon. TY. That almost ended Guy's winning streak, he said. One touch on the greasy line almost did him in, no warning signs. I saw the trucks so I knew to go slow and mostly cruised, had my tires pressures too high for a quick lap anyways. I ended up talking to fun ppl for hours, not riding, the usual story. I just dont have the energy nor pain tolerance.

My cousin Jeff died on the Tellico Dragon with his fiance looking at wedding locations

Best part of the ride was talking to my best friend's mom sitting on her front porch. Her son taught me how to ride a Honda 70 in that front yard. Spent a couple hours shootin the BS on a beautiful summer day during World War 3 Armageddon.

Schizophrenia with Dissociative Identity Disorder

is no joke, its epidemic

Gatlinburg TN has entire stores of FJB

Biden Administration Quietly Raised Amount of Ethanol Required in Summer Blend Gasoline from Ten Percent to Fifteen, Three Predictable Problems Will Surface Soon

“Ethanol is a valuable source of octane in finished gasoline, but it is chemically different than petroleum gasoline and cannot be used in concentrations above 10 percent in small engines — like outboard boat motors, motorcycles, lawnmowers, generators or chain saws — or in any cars made before 2001. Complicating matters further, most cars on the road today still aren’t warrantied to run on gasoline with more than 10 percent ethanol. Retail stations also must have compatible infrastructure in order to sell gasoline with higher ethanol blends.”  This issue is known within the industry as “The Blend Wall.”

The net result of Joe Biden’s EPA raising the mandatory amount of biofuel that must be present in the U.S. gas supply is this:

(1) Less food as more corn is needed for ethanol.

(2) Higher prices for finished and blended gasoline.

(3) Vehicle engines breaking down at a much higher rate. 

Journalist attempts road trip in electric car, ends up spending more time charging than sleeping. 'Fumes never smelled so sweet,' she says upon returning to gas fuel.

Wall Street Journal reporter Rachel Wolfe recently ventured from New Orleans, Louisiana to Chicago, Illinois in a brand-new Kia EV6 to test America's current electric bullshlt...

Coal powered electric cars destroy the environment

In yet another example of how out of touch Democrats are with Americans, Senator Debbie Stabenow of Michigan, of all places, declared in the Senate Tuesday that it doesn’t matter to her how high gas prices are because she drives an electric vehicle.

Stabenow’s made the comments during a Senate Finance Committee hearing, stating “On the issue of gas prices, after waiting for a long time to have enough chips in this country to finally get my electric vehicle, I got it and drove it from Michigan to here this last weekend and went by every single gas station and it didn’t matter how high it was.”

Ok, good for you Senator. But what about the millions who can’t afford to spend over 50 grand on one of those?

“I’m looking forward to the opportunity for us to move to vehicles that aren’t going to be dependent on the whims of the oil companies and the international markets,” Stabenow added.